Diary of Zhiyang

2011-06-01T16:13:00.001+08:00

Sorry for not updating, its been a while!
Lately its been hectic weeks in brcc.

Had lim package, and done all my fast marches.
Its really no easy feat I tell you.
No wonder they say recce is the forth toughest vocation, I should be well prepared when I got my vocation.

Finished my 60km long walk last night, its one of the most unforgettable experience in my life.
Pushed my limit to another level and suffered shit with the rest of my platoon and commanders, and I finished the walk with a sprained feet (that's when I found out after the walk).
Kudos to my TC and DY who were there for the two days!

Sprained foot, what can I do?
Definitely can't go ooc now! I've been so far now.
And less than four weeks and all shit will end.
Gotta push on!

Phrase to remind myself - tough times don't last, tough men do.

Gotta meet serene sis during this weekend!
For a movie or meal?
Its been while since I last seen her.
Hope she's fine with everything!
Missed her, ironic eh.

Gotta enjoy my rest for the rest of the day! Have a great day everyone!

2011-05-14T00:52:00.003+08:00

Mentally and physically taxing...did two 6km and one 9km fast march in two weeks.
20kg of load on your shoulders is definitely no walk in the park, shoulders and lower back aching from all these marches.
Surprisingly I passed my FFI, guess I need to do my best for BRCC.
Else I will let my team down.

And....
I got my g shock watch thanks to my dad's resourcefulness! Found the first model but it costs a bomb though.
So I settled for my second choice. It's also quite limited and almost extinct in Singapore (I think it is)
Don't settle for more when you have enough! Here it is...

And on a side note, BRCC finally started! 44 days of hell I'm gonna endure.
Wish me all the best!

2011-05-02T22:37:00.002+08:00

Time to post. Sigh my weekends are ending soon (including this public holiday).

Nothing much happened lately except politics. Everyone's talking about it lately that I'm getting constantly annoyed and pissed.

Supposedly going to watch Thor with Cheryl but she didn't asked me to. Asked her to watch the movie during Sunday and she was like 'okay', then she watched it with another guy.

And she didn't remind me of the movie outing today.
Well, that's what you call a 'friend'.
'Friend' indeed.

Yeah, not gonna be bothered with people like her anymore.
I've seen what kind of person she was.

Hope tomorrow's company cohesion is fun and gonna book in tomorrow night, oh well I'm going for Dance Meets Funk on 14 May, it's gonna be a blast!

Quotes for myself: There's no such thing called a 'friend'. Survive on your own.

2011-04-30T18:27:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to burn by usher.

Starting to listen Alice Nine songs again, great music in the past produced.

Booked in after bike course for 4km fast march. And I managed to march under 40 mins.

The load is really unbearable, if I continue this in the long run my back might get into some problems (I hope not).

Next week got 6km march, BRCC is around the corner!

And you guys may wonder (if you know what is BRCC) what my group is?

At least not with that dogface (don't wanna mention who).

The more he orders us around the more disrespect I had for him, after these few days I totally had negative response towards him.

Just because he is gonna ORD he think he is king.

He wants to act around before he leaves.

At least show some respect for us, have you ever tried to bond with us?

No you didn't. Instead, you can chat and joke around with the others from other units, and treated us worse than dogs.

Although I was in for a few days, I've already known what kind of person you are.

Better don't let me see you outside after you ORD.

Sorry anyway gotta let this out of my chest. And next tuesday is company cohesion.

I don't think I will enjoy myself with his presence.

Till the next update!

2011-04-26T20:01:00.003+08:00

Am currently listening to 'Kiss the Rain' by Yiruma.

Sorry for not updating for so long. Being away for bike course and army making me busy. My offs are burned thanks to the course, what can I say? And cross country off-road is tomorrow, gotta go mandai camp from my place for the rest of this week.

Currently having a messed up mood right now. Caused my parents to quarrel because of the loss of my handphone yesterday. And the last time I lost it is like during secondary school?

I should have bought a new handphone myself.
I shouldn't let my parents to worry about my problems.
I'm already 21, and yet it feels like I always mess things up, be it personal, social, family or dance.
To add salt to injury, my dad bought a new phone for me and it's the reason of the quarrel.
And I don't even dare to touch the phone till now.

I feel like a loser.

2011-04-09T15:45:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the late update. Feeling kinda lazy to though.
Almost completing my bike course, now waiting for the center manager to give me the date to go back for my off-road training and island-wide.

Took me 6 times to pass Highway Situational Problems.
6 times to pass my balancing test and circuit.
5 times to pass my public road test.

Extended my bike course and yet I haven't complete it.
Covered guard duty for the whole of this month and next month, thanks to encik's orders.
And loads of messed up rules given by him, can't wait for him to go.
Luckily I booked in early to get chosen to attend a signal's battalion change of command parade, else I will have to follow the sergeants for the preparation for an exercise.
And the best part is that I earned myself two days off, if not one day.

And guess what, my medical appointment is in June.
Going to finish my recce course before attending my appointment, at least I would have achieve something before probably getting myself into a long inactive status thanks to my skin allergy.

Physiotherapy in May, I hope the recce course won't kill me.
Two months and I'm going treat it like BMT, after that it's all good.

Hate the army for disrupting my life, but what can I do?
1 year 5 months to go (I better don't count).

P.S: Are there such things like true friends? I don't think so.

2011-03-11T23:23:00.001+08:00

Thank you dad for the nice dinner.
Thank you mum for the wonderful oreo cheesecake.
Love you all.

P.S: I wonder if anyone still remembers me, let alone my birthday.

Life is really saddening isn't it?
Dying all alone in the end of the road.

2011-03-02T22:00:00.001+08:00

I'm slow and stupid in whatever things I do.
The reason why am I always targeted.

Sometimes I wished I wasn't born.

Wake Up Call

2011-02-27T00:05:00.001+08:00

After today I have told myself, and I must achieve it.

I'm going to be better than what I am now in the future.

2011-02-22T22:09:00.002+08:00

Keep listening to those songs over the radio, over and over again.
And the songs requests at night.
I'm getting sick of it.

I thought that you'd be loving me.
I thought you were the one who'd stay forever.
But now forever's come and gone
And I'm still here alone.

'Cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

I thought that I'd be all you need.
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heaven's gone away
And I'm out in the cold.

'Cause you had me believing,
You had me believing in a lie.
Guess I couldn't see it,
I guess I couldn't see it till I saw goodbye.

'Cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you.

It was you who put those clouds around me.
It was you who made those tears fall down.
Only you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

P.S: I find myself talking to walls more often.

2011-02-21T20:45:00.002+08:00

Today's the first day of the bike course!
My encik went to Australia, and I got to enjoy Nasi Lemak and bandung in SAF driving school for 27 days!
How awesome!

SDD is coming soon this Saturday, everyone who's participating all the best!
Make Singapore dance scene level up again and proud!

And I can't get you out of my mind.
If only I could...

2011-02-19T11:32:00.002+08:00

What's up everyone I'm back.
Booked out early yesterday and attended the bike course briefing.
One month of bike course and I will be going to hell soon.
And three hundred over questions of highway code to complete over the weekends, how great.

No idea of what to do for the weekends, hmmmm.
Should I get my psp fixed? So that I won't be so bored when I go for long bus or train rides.
Feels like starting Raw Deal again after talking to my bunk mate, had a crazy conversation with him.

Not much to post though.
Anyone wanna meet up for a lunch session or something?
Hit me back.

Chingay 2011

2011-02-13T14:34:00.003+08:00

A long and yet eventful week I had before booking in.

Had my field camp for AIT and glad that it's finally over.
Learned lots of fire command order and got rashes all over my body.
Tired of prone positions in vegetation just to get cover and in the end got injured too.
Sick of doing 1/3 at night and now my eyebags are huge.

Finally got my green beret. Before this was a turnout with FBO and five km plus of fast route march down the difficult terrains. Went back to company line and had hell for cleaning rifle, in the end rushed down to pit building after booking out but didn't made it for the first performance.

Went for the second performance for Chingay and went for CityAlive. It's been a while since I last danced for quite some time (considering the DJ and music really sucked) in a cypher and the feeling was great. Saw Doc Orc the man himself and he was still dope as I see him in his videos!

My sleep time was literally burned with all the laundry I had to do myself as my parents went overseas. Oh well what awaits me is the Bike Course now! This means I have more time to dance, spending time with friends and family. And next week there is Company Cohesion Day, which means encik might be in a good mood (we keep praying he will not be around all the time).

Say, tomorrow will be Valentine's Day. What are you going to give to your loved ones? Any ideas on how to woo the ideal girl or guy of your dreams? Every year's the same for me.

Anyway thanks for your ticket Cheryl, really apologies again for losing mine. It's been great with you for Chingay and all the chatting we did during the rehearsals. Meet up soon for lunch or dinner!

Oh well guess I end my post here, going to make orange juice for myself now. Hot weather it is today. Till next week!

2011-02-06T14:57:00.003+08:00

Just back from buying my army stuffs, fortunately the shops are still open.
Anyway just updating from yesterday.

Met my new crew (DKG) yesterday at scape, and were practicing our steps for some merdeki presentation.
Saw some members from Flair Nation, think they are practicing for SDD Vol 2.
All the best to them (though they will not see this here).
Although I will not be in the performance due to national service, but may be teaching the kids dance.
It will be good exposure and challenge for me, and I hope to improve myself too from there.
And hearing that they will be more projects for me and the crew, if our proposal is accepted we will get sponsors for our performances.

Booking in today before 2100, before that going to my relative's house for a while.
Anyway I also got nothing much to do.
Hope I will be back on time for Chingay, and next week i will be doing my Sectional Field Camp.
Pray it will not be so tough.

"Tough times don't last, tough men do"

2011-02-04T23:27:00.001+08:00

Just back from guard duty, all of us (including the sergeants) definitely do not want to be there.
Did my prowler job with Justin and it wasn't so boring after all.
Knew my checkpoints without a doubt.
It was nice to see the CO and RSM came to visit us, brought us bah kwa and oranges as a booster.
Even if I got OOC (I hope not) I won't wanna get posted out of my coy.
Getting used to this I suppose.

Gotta catch some sleep soon! Tomorrow gotta meet my friends (known from Chingay) for dance at scape.

Update more soon.

2011-02-03T23:03:00.002+08:00

Why must it be me. One day burned.

Guard duty sigh.

I need more than 24 hours a day.

And I wonder how much I got from my red packets, haven't open them yet.

Going to munch on my goodies before losing most of my weight next week.

PS: Shouldn't we follow the number of holidays China have for Chinese New Year?

2011-02-02T22:27:00.003+08:00

Back from Parkroyal for my reunion dinner.
Dinner was dope and the oyster omelette is great!
Not forgetting the char kuay teow and glutinous rice ball.
And we just tossed our yusheng, for all the wishes and everything nice.

Anyway just got my nike sb eugene backpack, hundred and eighty but it's all worth it.
Just take a look at it and you know why it deserves its price tag.

Was craving for another colorway but seems like this is the last one available.
I'm really lucky cause it is quite an old edition of nike sb eugene backpack.
And the colorway is really rare.

Well oh well, gotta end here.
Happy chinese year everyone! Hope you get your pockets fat with red packets!

2011-02-02T11:48:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year eve! Hope everyone is enjoying themselves out there.

Went for chingay rehearsal with Cheryl aka B2 yesterday night.
Hope she is really okay and able to put her feelings aside with her ex.
Rehearsal was just only about cleaning steps and performing them with the props.
Hope I am able to book out early and won't miss the first day of performance. (prays hard)

Woke up today kinda late and found out I have to reschedule my appointment with TTSH.
Pray that my knee doesn't get into any bad shape before April.

Maybe getting some shirts later since I haven't get any for CNY.
Shall update again tonight.

2011-01-31T21:53:00.002+08:00

Just reached home!
Great to be in camp for a short while and the mood to celebrate Chinese New Year.
Before suffering in five days of hell. (hope I'll book out on Friday and rush down for my performance)

Got guard duty this Friday, but I gotta count my blessings that I got four full days with my family and friends.
Went to see the MO today and realized that my skin problem is not serious enough to be excused.
This is time when I have to wake up my idea.

Being an inf recce is not easy to most, but I'm gotta do my best and pass out as a trained recce trooper.
Tough? More stories to tell you guys after I ORD.

Hope you guys have a good CNY preparation ahead.
Man, I forgot to buy new shirts!

Update more tomorrow.

2011-01-29T23:49:00.001+08:00

I wish time could fast forward 587 days.
Although times now will be hard, but they will be all over before I know it.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

2010-12-31T16:41:00.002+08:00

The end of 2010. A new beginning.

POP in 8 days time. Mixed feelings. Had my first clubbing experience.

It's fun when you are out with your friends, and there for a reason.

Hope for another round during my block leave.

What to do today? I don't know.

Staying at home like the past two years that I always did?

Unless somebody ask me out.

Oh well.

Going to miss my bmt experience as a recruit and my platoon mates, all the crapping sessions.

I hope we will do some catching up in the future and not forget each other as time passes by.

Thanks all.

2010-12-25T23:34:00.002+08:00

A time to blog now. How's X'mas everyone?
Hope you all enjoyed yourselves!

Nothing much as usual for me, it's an empty x'mas yet again.

Booking out on wed next week, gonna be so prepared for monday.
Drills drills drills and 16km route march with the other companies.
After that all shall be relaxed and a breeze, if no changes to the schedule I last seen.

2 more weeks!

2010-12-24T19:46:00.002+08:00

Just back from dinner, decided to post now.
7th week of my bmt just ended. 15 days to POP.

Had my live grenade throwing, it's kinda fun.
Though I was nervous and almost could not pull out the safety ring.
Went for my first guard duty at the ferry terminal, got my role as a sentry.
It was boring like hell, fortunately my other sentry partner gave me riddles to keep me accompanied.
And I was freaking tired, leopard crawled through the grass to do the different positions for grenade throwing.
Fortunately it's not that bad, but we have to march back to company line from the area.
How nice.

Other than X'mas celebration, nothing special occurred.
Danced for two hours today and it was the first time I danced for so long.

Man, I miss dancing like hell.
Merry X'mas everyone and may it be a blast!

2010-12-18T01:37:00.004+08:00

Had about ninety percent of my dirty laundry cleaned, just back from tekong.
Mum and younger bro went to Hokkaido, hope they are having a ball of time there.
This week was the last outfield time I had for my BMT days.

SIT test was okay, had fun running around with my detail.
Results weren't important, if I made it as an officer so good for me.
SISPAC isn't so bad too.
Friendly were most of my detail mates, even if my running was hindered by blisters which peeled and came back again.
The 12km route march we had was less tiring compared to the 8km, probably due to the terrain we were marching in.And also the chinese songs sang along the way, which made me forgotten clean about the pain and weight I had on my back.
Also had 4km and 2km marches before my SIT test, pushed myself to the limit.
Marched back from the SIT test to coyline, the only company to do that how's that?

Exactly 3 more weeks to POP. And I haven't start on my commanders appraisal letter.
Next week is coming soon, so is Christmas. Maybe booking out will be early I hope?

What is Christmas to me? Just another ordinary day.
Seems like the only things in my head were planes flying through the night sky and stars on top of it.
Going to check the washing machine to see if the next part of my laundry is done.

Another day.

2010-12-11T21:28:00.003+08:00

Field camp - over.
At least got over it although I thought it was 5 days instead of 4 days 3 nights.
Shell scraping was shit but sleeping in it at night was the greatest experience ever and I will never forget it, though I'm not done with it.
It's like better than your king koil bed - quoted from my corporal.

Been through a tiring 8km route march and don't even know what I'm doing, sometimes even stoning when my duty sergeant is giving out orders. A total mind block, period.

Combat rations were okay except for the vandaloo crap.
High kneeling and camo on your face really sucked, pray that I don't get outfield often.
Paintball was freaking fun.

My skin problem got worse after field camp, should I see MO?
I will probably miss the 12 km route march and SIT test.
And miss out on my chances to ocs or sispac, though I will pass out from bmt.

I just wanna serve my national service smoothly on a bed of roses. Maybe I'm asking too much.

Can't wait for 12km route march and SIT test to be over, if I'm going.
And everything will be just fine and the way I wanted it to be.
For the time being. Mum and younger bro will be going to Hokkaido for 6 days.
Won't see them till Christmas book out - going to miss them so much.
Dad's HBP acted up during my field camp week. Feeling damn worried about him now and can't talk to him during the outfield days in my SIT test.
Shit happens.

Right now I just wanna spend more quality time with my family.
So much shit happened and I have almost lost track of time and what's happening.

I LOVE my family.
And I will do anything to protect it.

28 more days. How time flies.

2010-12-04T15:07:00.003+08:00

I'm back! it has been a long week, though it is only 5 days.

went for IFC and live firing, though I left halfway to aeromedical centre for medical test for air force during IFC. learned some movement drills, hope I won't screw it up. and urban ops too. haven't even learn how to build a tent, but I heard it is quite easy.

field camp is just next week, it's gonna be hell. mud and all sort of shit all over the place. camo cream for six days five nights. and hugging my rifle like a bolster to sleep. got sick but I haven't got much of a choice, can't OOT now. must recover asap! am going to do my best to adapt to the outfield environment.

35 days to go. it's just the beginning.

2010-11-27T22:23:00.002+08:00

official first book out - but schedule has been tight.
turnovers got the best out of my sleep.
never take things for granted.

going for Individual Field Craft the whole of next week before my field camp.
hope things are gonna be fun instead of being spoiled by my skin allergy.
got silver for ippt, going to work hard for gold!
NS is a bitch but I'm not going to let it screw me up easily.

42 days to POP!

keeping my passion alive.

2010-07-21T20:55:00.002+08:00

Hi I'm back, and I'm sure nobody is looking here.
Just take it that I'm talking to the wall.

Enlisting soon, gonna fufil some targets before going in.

-Get a MacBook
-Earn more money
-Get my license
-Get into recital

Feeling dead, or am I, already dead?
I still got the breath to make it right.

109 days and fighting. Screw up and I'm better off gone.

Emptiness

2010-06-25T17:36:00.001+08:00

I don't know how common this is, but for me, the main problem is that I feel disconnected from everyone and everything.

I have a few people out there who I care about, or who care about me, but no real relationship with anyone.
Worse yet, this is a long term pattern with me, it's been going on for enough years yet that it's quite possible I will be alone for the rest of my life.

This totally sucks.

I would like to have friends I could be truly close to, someone that I could be in love with, but I'm psychologically fucked up enough that I don't know how to make this happen.

I like to think that if I had love and intimacy in my life, life wouldn't suck nearly as much.

And hell, I think I've reached the point where I'm jealous of cult members.
Those poor deluded fuckers who shave their heads and dance around in public begging for donations, or the heaven's gate suicide cult, at least they have a sense of purpose, of belonging. They must have a sense of devotion for their beloved cult leaders.

Is there any way to have meaning in your life when you're disconnected from everyone?
I don't think so.

Farewell.

Question

2010-05-08T21:33:00.001+08:00

In my dreams I see how I die, like falling from a great height.

What is it like to leave this cold and selfish world? Will it be happier out there?

If someone can give me an answer

2010-04-28T22:21:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so empty.

Nobody even freaking cared about me, like a simple 'How's work?', or 'Hey when you off? Let's go out together'.

I will appreciate if any of these are posted to me, or whatsoever. No matter how the message is phrased.

Guess what nobody did.

As I look through my phonebook and my page, I realized that almost all are people whom I know. And none of them are even close to me or even a close friend of me. Now they don't even contact me anymore. What a joke.

The relationship between me and my parents soured.

My mum has started to boycott me.

It feels like I got no friends, and I'm in a world of strangers.

I feel like a nuisance when I tried talking to her.

Maybe I should fuck off, die and join my grandparents.

I wonder how are they right now, how I wish I could tell them what I'm facing right now.

I'm going insane.

Where were you

2010-04-25T16:39:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to doubt my existence.

The world will still revolve had I been gone, or whatsoever.

Or will it became a better place for others?

Will all these thoughts please go away? I'm getting paranoid.

My family, I'm tired of what they want me to be.

My friends, where were they when I need them the most?

And she will never know what I have been trying to tell her, how I wish I can rip it apart.

And I'm still alone no matter the scenario.

I find myself talking to the wall often.

I need an answer

2010-04-20T23:54:00.002+08:00

She may mean the world to you, but you may be nothing to her.

In the end everyone ends up alone.

What a world we are in

2009-11-18T11:09:00.002+08:00

It doesn't make any sense. I'll fight my way out. I'll be fine and keep smiling.

我不要再想你

2009-10-13T20:51:00.001+08:00

你在我身边不再怕黑每个晚上睡的甜美
多暧昧你却不是我的谁
我在你面前变的谦卑不敢要求你的一点回馈
担心这种完美瞬间枯萎

我真的以为爱你双倍
过去就会倒退但它迟早都会一夜珍贵
你的房间里残留他的气味所以忘却不干脆
我真的以为爱会双倍未来不管错对

但你说爱我却不够绝对还会想见他
却还要我跟随告诉我爱怎能这样的分配
你在我身边不再怕黑每个晚上睡的甜美
多暧昧你却不是我的谁

而我在你面前变的谦卑不敢要求你的一点回馈
担心这种完美瞬间枯萎
我真的以为爱你双倍
过去就会倒退但它迟早都会一夜珍贵

你的房间里残留他的气味所以忘却不干脆
我真的以为爱会双倍未来不管错对
但你说爱我却不够绝对还会想见他
却还要我跟随告诉我爱怎能这样的分配

我真的以为爱你双倍
过去就会倒退但它迟早都会一夜珍贵
你的房间里残留他的气味所以忘却不干脆
我真的以为爱会双倍未来不管错对
但你说爱我却不够绝对还会想见他
却还要我跟随告诉我爱怎能这样的分配

Rest In Peace

2009-10-03T15:13:00.002+08:00

We used to joke around, used to train together
And canoe together during secondary school
After competition we will rush to the arcade to play daytona or whatsoever
Or lan shop for some cs session
Canoeing friends we were.

But now, they can only remain as memories
Three years since I last saw you.
I miss those times, you make all of us jovial and happy
You will crack some jokes which you thought is funny, and do your best to lighten up our day
Seems to us you were always happy and wacky
And you were a good friend, whenever your friends asked you for favors
You will help them without a doubt, and to all your extent

Cracky, weird whatever some of you who know him call it
You will always be our friend,buddy Vincent Chia Ming Jin
I pray that you rest in peace and justice will be served

We miss you so much, you will always be in our hearts
We will remember your laughter, jokes your everything

Love and peace.

2009-09-22T09:44:00.002+08:00

What are rules created when you don't comply them?

Why it is created when people can have it their own way while some don't?

Is it about sticking up to their asses or about who you think it is better?

Don't create one in the first place, when you can't even follow your own rule.

I'm sick and tired of all these bias, and I found out why are there so many haters and quitters.

One day I'm gonna fucking blow up right in your faces, what's enough is enough.

I've seen enough.

Fuck you bitches.

2009-09-06T02:34:00.001+08:00

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
Ive been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord

Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my friend
But I dont know if you know who I am
Well, I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been
Its all been a pack of lies

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
Ive been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord
I can feel it in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord

And Ive been waiting for this moment all my life, oh lord, oh lord
Well I remember, I remember dont worry
How could I ever forget, its the first time, the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you dont fool me
The hurt doesnt show; but the pain still grows
Its no stranger to you or me
And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord...

(You could have rescued me from drowning...but you wouldn't....would you?)

2009-08-31T19:33:00.000+08:00

The fact is,
I'm never good at anything.

Keep mocking people

2009-08-30T17:39:00.001+08:00

Rep nobody, make no mistake
This is the direction you guys make me take
You guys are never there, what is this?
Ask your conscience man, I never meant to diss.
All I asked is for a call or chat,
And you guys never bother, what the fuck is that?
I felt so lousy, hoping either one will call
Some of you have noticed, but never pick me up from my fall
I treasure you guys, now you ruin it
This god damned friendship which I hope and will commit
It's too late, you guys won't realise
All this crap and nonsense, I had enough of your lies
I'm fucked up, stuck six feet below
All the things I faced, you guys will never have a chance to know

2009-08-16T01:21:00.003+08:00

Sorry for not updating, for so long.
As usual things are getting hectic, dance, studies.
And exams are coming along the way.

I feel sour.
A tinge of sourness.
I know that I can do it, I have to step up.
But, is there a chance for me to?
I'm tired of feeling the same crap, every time I step in...
I can't describe it.
If only you can put yourselves in my shoes...

All the bullcrap, lies.
Nobody knows how I feel anyway.
The so called 'friends', their so called 'claims'.
Fuck them, fuck that shit.
I'm always the last to know everything...
Thinking back, in fact, nobody gives a shit at all.

So when you read this post, don't give me any sympathy.
Or feel empathetic.
Fuck your lies.

It is time to step up.

2009-06-12T21:59:00.003+08:00

Exams are over, something to be happy about.
Back to sessions and dancing again, which I looked forward to.

Sexy Diamond is opening tomorrow, all the best to your outlet Psyk!
May your products sell like hotcakes!
Just checked out the opening tees and caps prices, there's only eighty of them produced respectively!
And very likely I won't get any of them due to the fact of people will queue up from seven in the morning, that's insane!

Very likely I will not go, unless I got more money.
Sigh I have to save up more.
Will definitely shop there the moment I have more.

Need a job for these two weeks.
Anyone?

2009-06-08T20:58:00.002+08:00

Sexy Diamond is coming this Saturday!

What time I do not know! Man stop keeping me in suspense Psyk.

HAHA.

Just queuing up for the limited edition tee and cap (if i have enough money for both, else the tee will do),

everyone please come and support!

The doppest taiwan apparel brand is finally here!

2009-06-07T19:00:00.003+08:00

Took the steps and just danced, got a taste and feel of it.
What now?
Improvements and variations, keep training!

Next month let's go at it again!
Dance like nobody's watching.

2009-05-31T01:26:00.002+08:00

I'm so pathetic.

Here I am stuck in my thoughts of you, when I should be studying for my test on Monday.
You said you are happy but your calls didn't tell me so.
Study la Lian Zhi Yang!
Two more chapters.

This is driving me crazy.
I shouldn't be thinking.

2009-05-28T18:47:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not updating, been busy.
DOU Recital was DOPE, it's great to share the stage with you guys. Looking forward to outing next week!

KO Night was great, many people really levelled up like so unbelievably.
The dope poppers, lockers, hip hoppers.
Anyway all the best to all who took part, aite.

Upcoming tests, assignments! Year 3 isn't so smooth sailing like what other people said.
I have to manage my time well, next monday got test.
Crap...

Took the first step, and now I have to wait for the day to come.
What the funk!

2009-05-08T08:28:00.001+08:00

Blame it on my carelessness, I swear I will be more careful this time.
First time it happened, and I hope that person who picks it up returns it back to me.
Or else it is going to get ugly.

2009-05-03T13:06:00.002+08:00

Didn't watch ko night with friends, due to the picking up of my dad from the airport.
Hope you guys made it :)

jia you dude.. u can dance.. u jus lack some confidence n discipline (dance-wise)... jia you..
-some words from Justis

What he said was right.
I need to take time to train my dance, popping too.
No reward without any hardwork or sacrifices.
My hits need to be cleaner than that.
And my groove needs to get better.
Everything has to be improved.

But then again, I have to manage my studies.
Because of my results I can't take any performances nor competitions for my cca.
24 May might be my last performance, my parents don't want me to dance so much.
Sigh.

Rehearsal yesterday, I felt I still lacked performance and confidence.
Lian Zhi Yang you better get your steps right and perform it.

2009-04-24T16:04:00.002+08:00

Back to zero.
I got to rebuild up slowly, bit by bit.
Even if it takes long.
Or years.

Got to train hits.
Hit!

Can't afford to go wild, I got to have some control.
Practice practice practice.

2009-04-21T14:08:00.000+08:00

I have to change my attitude.

2009-04-20T20:58:00.002+08:00

I'm not a good student.
I'm not a good dancer.
I'm not a good son.
I'm not a good friend.

Where have I gone wrong?

2009-04-11T10:55:00.002+08:00

I admit, I'm not a fast learner.
In fact I think I'm slow.
Sorry guys and everyone for troubling you all, I should have taken the initiative.
But yet I still don't know my stuff.
I know it is not a valid excuse but, I am gonna catch up as much as I can.

Once again I apologise.
You guys know who you are.

Buck up please.

2009-04-02T13:32:00.002+08:00

All I want is a shot, a chance.
The eagerness of proving myself, and the hunger for more.
Is it so hard? Just to give me one shot?
I have been training, putting in more effort than some people, but what the hell is wrong?

Why do I still feel I don't belong here?
Am I just a nobody?

I just can't take it anymore, but this is least of even one pinch of what I'm feeling right now.
Don't wanna spill all my feelings out here, to spare the misunderstanding.
Gonna keep the rest to myself, period.

Oh well, back to hitting and rolls practice.
I wanna be savvy.

I will prove you all fucking people wrong.

2009-03-25T11:42:00.002+08:00

All chances and hopes are gone, somehow.
I hope not.
But it doesn't stop here.

I need a lifeline.
Got to change my plans, have to be glad that the worse has not happened yet.
I have to maintain my focus and balance.

Everything ends here, period.

2009-03-06T11:56:00.002+08:00

Watched Juste Debout just now, took me so long to finish watching all the vids for popping.
From preselection to the finals.
Mad props to all who took part, and congrats to Kite and Fishboy.
They deserved the win afterall.

Need to improve and level up as much as I could.
Things to work on:
-Transitions
-Variations
-Levels
-Control

I should really save up and go to Osaka for popping lessons one day.
Popping DS? Zero? Acky?
Hope to level up as much as I could and improve my techniques.

Session popping anyone?

Hate My Life

2009-02-21T21:26:00.001+08:00

So sick of the hobos always begging for change
I don't like how I gotta work and
They just sit around and get paid
I hate all of the people who can't drive their cars.
Bitch you better get outta the way
Before I start falling apart

I hate how my wife is always up my ass
She always wants to buy brand new things
But I don't have the cash.

I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right
There's no end in sight
I hate my life!

How come I never get laid nice guys always lose.
How could she have another headache
There's always some kind of excuse
I still hate my job, my boss is a dick
"I don't get paid nearly enough
To put up with all of your shit"

I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right
There's no end in sightI hate my life!

I hate that I can't tell when a girl's underage,
You know, I tell her she's a nice piece of ass,
Then her daddy punches me in the face

So if you're pissed like me
Bitches, here's what you gotta do
Put your middle fingers up in the air
Go on and say "Fuck you!"

I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right
There's no end in sight
I hate my life!

So much at stake, can't catch a break
I hate my life
No, it's nothing new hear
"it sucks to be you"
I fuckin hate my life

rants

2009-02-21T21:01:00.002+08:00

Why do I get the same fucked up feeling again!
Sigh.
I'm a reckless, useless god-damn son of a bitch.
Whatever I do doesn't come my way at all.
Perhaps screaming will make me feel better.
I hope I will get better.
Till then....

2009-02-20T17:23:00.001+08:00

What was I thinking.
I even mixed up Friday with Thursday.
Thinking it was Wednesday, I went for my dental appointment.
And I missed Popping 3 class.
Lian Zhi Yang you better wake up!
Sigh.

2009-01-29T22:47:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wished I wasn't lying to myself.
I'm living my life with my own lie.
The truth is, I am never a happy person at all.
Sigh.

2009-01-24T16:15:00.002+08:00

Been busy with spring cleaning, my body is aching.
Haven't been dancing for so intensive, yesterday's choreography by Justis is great!
Forever by Chris Brown.
Able to catch the steps but I needed more practice, the steps look impressive.
Once again great touch of choreography by Justis, looking forward to lyrical hip hop next week.
Felt like dancing again and again.

And I woke up at one plus in the afternoon, so I didn't go for popping lesson.
Maybe next week.

Chinese New Year is coming!
Maybe less angpaos this year, recession and economic drop.
My backpack order may have to be cancelled, sigh.
And I don't want it to happen.

Anyway what to look forward for Chinese New Year.
Reunion Dinner (food and more food).
Ang paos (what you all have been looking forward to)
Bak Kua(not forgetting pineapple tarts and more)
The atmosphere of families gathering together.

Oh well this is what I can think of now.
People in the year of the horse beware!
No alcohol or bad luck for the rest of the year.
Some kind of belief I guess.

Wo men yao yi qi qu chi tuan yuan fan!
:)

2009-01-18T21:05:00.001+08:00

Been playing this game the past weekends,

and the trophies are damn hard to get, especially the gold ones.

Going to try betting now.

2009-01-17T16:21:00.003+08:00

My laptop screen spoiled!
Or perhaps it is the motherboard.
Luckily my laptop still can start, no problems with the hard drive I think.
If not I'm screwed big time.

One word of advice, never buy Acer laptops.

Now I have to go all the way to Acer to get my laptop fixed,
Looks like I won't be able to do MPI practical on Monday.
Better get it fixed on Tuesday, luckily it is e-learning.
Or else I can't find time to get my laptop fixed.

Down

2009-01-13T14:43:00.004+08:00

Haven't been blogging for some time.
Maybe when I have the time or a topic to blog again.

Why do I have a sense of inferiority complex?
Maybe I am not good enough.
Sometimes life is not fair at all.
Not all things can be obtained with hard work,
maybe I should learn not to take so many things so seriously.
But then again, fruits of success come with effort and hard work.
This is contradicting me.
And I hate the thought of sucking up to others, where is your pride?
Do you buy success with all these?

So much thoughts.
So many things I wanna accomplish.
So many improvements I have to work on.
So much rants in my chest.
So many things I wanna do.
So much work to settle and due.

2009-01-04T19:31:00.000+08:00

Anyhow, onto Moves Vs Movements, or, Freestyle.

By moves, I mean any type of move: twisto flex, walkout, boogaloo roll, neckoflex blahblabh. Even basic tuts, waves, glides, head roll.
Now I understand I listed mostly basic boogaloo moves, but I mean all basic moves or any type of move that can be accomplished through basic repetition.

Now you might be wondering why I specifically focus on moves. The answer is quite simple. What makes up a move?

MOVEMENTS

Yes. A twistoflex: how many movements? Head/neck, upperbody, lower body. The combination of 3 movements of pieces of your body fuse to make a MOVE.

Now, this seems basic. So why do I think its so important? Moves should be used as a tool to develop movements. Moves evolve to movements. Moves become movements. Moves come from movements. Simply by learning and doing a move through repetition is quite pointless. Anyone can learn a walkout, twistoflex, basic arm wave, basic side glide, or whatnot. What is important is to understand the components, the movements, that make those moves, and how and why those movements do their job.

This simple understanding of a move by breaking it down into components(movements) is the first step to a higher level of dance and a higher understanding of dance (or a dance, whatever).

Now, why are these components so important again? Ahhh....the good question!
Think about it, how many people do you know that simply go out and just do walkout walkout walkout twisto (ok...please spare me the irony that there are actually people who can say names and be correct )

Ya. Pretty much no one. By understanding these movements, you can create variations of the moves. Instead of twisting one way, I'll twist the other. AFter this movement, I'm going to add a different movement doing this. This higher level of thinking and changing of moves is what slowly leads to freestlye. In essence, each movement should be considered a move itself to be mastered and internalized by a dancer. By internalizing the move(movement...whatever), you fully understand it and all its uses and applications in terms of your own feeling, desires and wants. Basically, internalizing means making the move your own, either by doing it your own way by means of physical change, or mentally by how you link it to the music and other people.

Basically: Moves breakdown to movements, which should then be internalized individually as moves. This means, each movement that makes up a move should be considered by itself and incorporated into your dance your own way by being changed by your own physical movements or body and also mentally through linking it to the music and other ppl.

Now, with all these internalized moves/movements (as they have become the same since they have been broken down), by putting it together to the music, you have FREESTYLE.
Freestyling is less of a focus on the physical, and more a focus on the ability to translate the music with feeling to all the people watching. Of course the physical is important, but to me, once people begin to reach a certain level, the non-physical aspect of the dance is what separates dancers.

Example: Gucchon...while physically his movements are quite abstract at times or downright weird, the feeling he puts into it is so insane that other people with 'better' physical movements are left in the dust.

Pure education and in depth for you guys.

2009-01-04T19:19:00.003+08:00

Was on reading on some of the forums just now and I came across this.

^^Because I feel it is necessary...plus it seems like I have this discussion every few weeks with people...so why not share it with many.

To start, I'd like to say that all that I'm going to write is based off my own personal experience: from training, battling, dancing, meeting people, discussing with fellow dancers of all styles and levels and ages. This is solely a writing to help many new poppers, but it can help even those who feel they might be reaching a plateau in their dance or even for people of other styles, because I feel this applies to dance in general.

When I speak about Moves vs Movement, I really mean to speak about what differentiates someone who is really 'dancing' rather that simply doing moves on beat. (And by dancing, I mean freestyling). I know, this might seem contradictory, for technically if someone is doing moves and they are on beat, then they are dancing....but in my case, I feel dancing/freestyling is much more complex and should be placed on a higher level; to be considered a dancer, and thus someone capable of dancing, its not good enough to just do moves and be on beat. I don't want to sound elitist or egotistic, but really, any shmuck with some training and time can then be considered a dancer. No, to be a dancer is much more than simple physical movement. It's something that I have trouble describing, though I'm sure all people feel this connection or idea; its the feeling created and given off by the dancer through their movements in relation to the music.

Ya, kinda weird huh? But think about it. You might see two people dance to the exact same song. Of course, its natural to like one person more than another. Putting aside biased feelings towards certain types of movements, what is it that really makes you like them? Hopefully its not simply the moves, but the sensation of being able to clearly see and feel the music through the dancer, as if their body is the tool of musical translation....I know I'm gettin a bit philosophical and deep thinking, but I really feel that its important...

Now, this feeling, this ability to translate the music and transfer this intangible energy to other ppl, is what makes a dancer a DANCER! Its funny how judges used to say 'In my judging, I'm going to be looking at whos on beat..." WHy? It should be expected that a dancer is on beat...that is a basic requirement. The dance should be elevated and should not focus on such basic principles. To me, in a battle or simply when getting down, my goal is that for everyone that is watching, be it other dancers or simply curious spectators, is that they can clearly see, maybe even feel, and definitely understand, the music that we are both hearing. Now I know, some people might feel that they want to dance maybe to entertain a crowd, for in essence, that is sometimes the motive for dancing in front of and for other people. My response is to that is: isn't allowing other people to understand and feel the music in a different way entertaining in itself? Does there have to be a focus on tricks or moves or sets or crowd pleasers? I'm not saying those are bad, or that there is even a lot of ppl doing those, but just some food for thought...

Well, somehow I strayed off, for a lot of that was a pretext for what I wanted to say in the end of this post...but meh.

To simplify with an analogy: The dance/music should be like a language, with the dancer as a translator or interpretor. For each song, the dancer cannot simply spit out jibberish, for only a few select people might understand. They need to be able to translate the music in the form of dance in a clear, concise way, yet it needs to be unique by being influenced by their feelings and beliefs. Also, the best would be able to clearly communicate to dancers and curious spectators....

(to be continued...)

2009-01-04T18:44:00.004+08:00

I have been missing dancing for quite some time, been watching videos and youtubing for the past few days.

And I observed the dance scenes outside Singapore.

Everything is improving, by incredibly large levels.

Dance is not what other people say now in the past - rubbish.

I've been watching JDD and Juste Deboute, a lot of dancers caught my attention.

But none would have catch more attention than WCO and Electric Trouble.

Well you guys have been thinking, man I have repeated this so many times.

If you could watch their videos, they are good!

Seriously.

Wanna try some dance styles that may be different.

NRA has locking.

Has popping.

Has house.

Has breaking.

Has jazz.

But wait!

What if NRA has newstyle?

Wouldn't that be cool?

Newstyle - something me and Jiajie and some other people was talking about.

What is newstyle?

It is actually New York Style Hip Hop.

Hip hop sometimes is too choreographed, losing important elements like improvisation and personal interpretation.

Cause sometimes it is mixed with other styles not related to hip hop.

I'm loving newstyle more and more. :)

In my opinion newstyle depends more on improvisation and individuality, and it is wonderful to see different interpretations of the body movements in all doing newstyle hip hop.

And it can't be copied.

Just watched this during Wreck In the Floor, their newstyle is quite dope!

Enjoy. :)

School is starting again.

Shit.

And I got cad test tomorrow.

2009-01-03T21:13:00.008+08:00

The first thing I need to do now, is to save more and more money.
Things just look tempting don't they?
I need to save for:

-Dance lessons
-Driving license and lessons
-More clothes
-A rainy day?

Nothing much to blog about, without a job just makes saving difficult.
I need to be more thrifty and stop spending.
If not I can guarantee you, after CNY or exams,
I will back to square one and broke once again.
Even with ang pao money, it may not be enough.
Cause they always give me roughly the same amount of money, or even lesser.
Not even once did they give more, hopefully this year they will.
I need to depend on my own.

Good luck to myself to fufill that.
And probably getting a Electric Trouble tee? If there is.
Wreck In the Floor tee too many people wearing already, although I am a big fan always of WCO.
I already going to get the Hilty and Bosch tee during my open classes.
Anyone wanna go for open class?

Shit you Zhiyang.
Stop thinking about spending already when you can't even save enough.

2009-01-02T21:12:00.000+08:00

Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast the truth
Don't want to lose what I had as a boy
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat
As common as a cold day in L.A.

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface, this one-man submarine?
I only want the truth!
So tonight we drink to youth!
I'll never lose what I had as a boy

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

Without love I won't survive

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

Love hurts, ohhh-oh ohh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive
Love hurts la-la-la-la-la-la oh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive

2009-01-01T01:44:00.003+08:00

Happy new year everyone.
Thanks everyone who are there for me in 2008.
Here comes 2009.
May it be more eventful and better!

Never went for the countdown as Justis had no more tickets for me, to watch his performance and at the same time the countdown at Vivocity.
I was away when Edwin messaged and called me about today.
And as a result of not having IDD calls, the tickets went out.
How bad is that?
Looking back at 2008,there are goods and bad ones.
My dance journey was fruitful as there are many fundamental roads for me to walk on, and during in NRA.
My mindset and thinking about NRA totally changed, NRA is perhaps one of the most united and friendly dance group that I am in!
And I got my first performance this year, hoping to get more opportunities this year.
Many more things happened and it won't be enough for me to say it.
Things will get better after each year, let's make them happen!
And I haven't made my resolutions.

Autocad test next monday when school reopens, damn.
I would have forgotten clean about it if Ben didn't tell me about it.
Another reason for me not to be so anticipating for school.

Shall blog about my trip after my sleep.
Enjoy and have fun everyone!

2008-12-27T15:04:00.005+08:00

Looking for Scifen jeans, anyone?
Offers or anywhere to buy them tag or nudge me.
Will appreciate it very much ASAP.
Thanks a lot!

Anyway will be going to cruise tomorrow.
At last a relaxing holiday.
Away from Singapore,
to Penang and Phuket.
I miss the beautiful beaches at Phuket, the nice people there.
They are very friendly and hospitable.
It's been a while since I last been there, hope they are okay.
And also, I got a chance to try out the casino in the ship, while my dad didn't come.
Give me more luck!Avoiding all taboos that my mum said.

Will be back on Wed, till then!
Hope I have taken pictures to update then. =)

2008-12-26T18:15:00.004+08:00

Checked out Aaron's blog today, and I ordered this on impulse!
Looks so tempting, and I decided to put this order after CNY.
Hopefully I will have much much more money by then.
Hundred and fifty dollars, quite durable for the previous batch of bags.
This one is definitely not a disappointment. :)
Available in pink too.

Picturing myself after CNY.
Damn damn broke.
Going to put off my license.
I must learn not to spend impulsively.
Like seriously,I still need to pay for my lessons.
Hope I get more angbaos next year.
Pray pray pray.

Watched Barrio 19 on tv.
So awesome things happening on the streets of different countries.
B-boying, freestyle rap, beatboxing, skating, wok racing, extreme bike riding,freeruning jumps.
There is one where one brazilian guy can control dribbling the ball on air,
and the ball gets smaller, even using a marble to juggle on his knees.
And eventually it gets even smaller than a marble.
That is some sick shit, saw Aichi Ono on tv.
Headspins of his definitely leave me in awe.

What's wrong anyway.
Throwing temper is that good?
This morning not enough still throw some more just now?
I will never wanna be like you, NEVER!
How you treat mum today, I will never forget.
There are other occasions you also did that, we are human okay?

Messed up home.

2008-12-25T22:28:00.003+08:00

Seriously somehow, I kind of missed Danzation still.
I got post productions feelings and always got the temptation to dance to the songs like 'All Aboard' and 'Like That'.
Sounds kinda funny but it does not matter whether the choreography is great or not,
I realized it is more of the togetherness that all of us have, that will make the choreography beautiful or not.
The sweat, tears and effort will be shown at just that moment.
I learned more of friendship, encouragements and more that will bring us together, and one thing that we wanna do best- dancing.

Okay forget what I said earlier.
What day is it? Thursday, Christmas Day.
Where restaurants are getting more expensive with their food, not all I should say.
Anyway Merry Christmas anyone.
Kinda got a lousy Christmas this year, no cards or gifts but I got used to it.
Holidays are up and I always spent them alone, I got used to it too.
Only wishings from dancemates and friends that I don't contact anymore, thanks everyone who do so. :)
Stayed and rotted home whole day, while the other years I used to go 'lepak' or shopping with my friends.
At Topman or Ed Hardy, any nice shops at town.
Then we will go tonning at Cineleisure or friends' houses.
Playing snow spray with Bangalas around town and make everyone look like fools with deprived childhoods.
But now it is gone.
Realising the number of real friends I had now, it is coming to a minimal.
The rest are just 'come and go'.

Sigh, if I had one wish.
That will be......

Anyway Merry X'mas everyone, if you guys are looking at my blog.

Wishes won't come true anyway.
There's no such thing as Santa.
Total crap, to make kids listen to their parents.
In fact their parents are 'Santa', when kids grow up they will learn about that.
That there is no Santa.

X'Mas will be over in one hour and thirteen minutes,
enjoy what you all have,
shops will be closed and no more work specially today for you guys to get together,
love, friendship, family.

Just another day for me, lousy Christmas.

2008-12-24T23:30:00.002+08:00

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

2008-12-22T21:18:00.002+08:00

There are always friends that come and go.
Oh well it is part of life.
I have learn it the hard way.
One more year to go, at the same time I hate to graduate.
But I'm happy cause I won't be studying or seeing those engineering things that I don't like the most.
And most of my classmates that usually see or treat me like I never existed in the class.
And I'm sad cause I will be in the army, I will have less time for NRA.
I really miss you guys.
Thanks Mum and everyone for the advice.
Never let others take too much from you, don't let them take you for granted.
Don't be too naive or trust others too much.

Any one going for night cycling on Saturday?
Nudge or tag me.
Can't wait to see them again.
NRA is FAMILY =)

2008-12-22T13:48:00.003+08:00

Pictures! I know there is more but send me if you remember taking any pics with me. HAHA :)

I LOVE NRA.
Every single one of you. =)))

Spot where I am. During the second and third song :)

2008-12-22T13:11:00.002+08:00

Sick sick sick.
Sorry Lester for not coming today for your I & E event.

I ain't upset because you lied to me.
Well, but it is over.
Why will I take it seriously.
Probably you are uncomfortable watching it alone, sorry for not considering your feelings anyway.
I took it as a one-sided matter, so sorry.
And I accepted your apology.

Probably you can support me in my next production?
Next time ask more people come, then next time won't like have misunderstandings occuring.
And you won't so lonely watching me.
HAHA.
See you next year!
And advance Merry X'mas, I'm the first one . :)

2008-12-21T16:09:00.009+08:00

I don't know where to start, damn.
Danzation 2008 is over, and I'm gonna miss it.
The days of going to Studio 73 after lessons ending at five almost everyday,
The days of going to school for training during weekends.
So many things to miss, I know everyone do miss those times.

And I wanna thank Justis,Troy,Jiting, Eunice, Edwin and all,
thanks so much for coming.
Thanks for the gift too,although nobody personally came to watch me or support,
you guys all supported us.
A very big thank you to all of you.

Though none of my classmates came or what, I don't give a shit.
I don't care if I'm left out or about my classmates in class.
After all they never gave a shit since the start.
One lied about not coming to my performance due to some reason, and I saw the truth.
What a freaking liar you are.
I rather you speak the truth than wasting your money.
What you treat me as? Give me support just by buying?
I don't need that crap.
You know who you are, I don't wanna say names.
Shit on you, no point in wasting my energy on people like you. :)
I know what to do,to think I really believed you.
You are no different from them.
The only support I got from are from NRA,not forgetting Justis and all.
Cause I know there's a full house crowd watching what I got on stage.
What we got on stage.
And we never let our chreographers down.
Never let Ann down.
Never let the crowd down.
But I know, deep inside we can be better and better.
There is always room for improvement.
Two years from now we will definitely awe a bigger crowd.
Esplanade? Suntec convention?
Can't wait man.
Although I will be in the army by then,
but that is not gonna stop me.

Days are gonna be so different from today onwards,
I want dance trainings!
It dawned on me that dance has became a part of my life, and it is not on dance alone.
It is on the friends I have mixed with, I made.
A wonderful experience I had and I seen so many great dancers all around Singapore.
SIM, SMU, RP, SP, Fuyo, NUS Blast Alumini, Da Streetz, even Dance Dynamix.
Zaihar is really a great inspiration, simple movements but yet dope enough to awe the crowd. Cool shit.
The standard bar of dance in Singapore is gonna be raised beyond our imagination.
I can feel it.

Keep dancing everyone!
Till the post party, I'm gonna miss you all.

And just wanna say I Love You to all of you here in NRA,
thanks for all the hugs,encouragements, and advices.
I will try to know each and every single one of you here even better alright? =))))
There is no place like a second home for me now :)

Peace.

2008-12-19T10:37:00.003+08:00

It's showtime!
I couldn't really sleep well last night, kinda miss the experience and how I will perform tonight.

Hope I won't pull my item down,
I wanna thank Andy and Mikhail for helping me in formations.
So do Jiajun and Zhiyuan.

Thanks for everyone who are there for me,
Like Clement, Zach,Jiajie and a lot more.
I missed times when we chatted and eating while waiting for our full run.
And talked about times of what we are five months ago,
now we are ready, to rock the stage and welcome screams of cheers.
Looking back, I thought it was incredible.
But reality shows that it can be done.
Now over a thousand are watching us while we are doing our thing,
And second day is almost full house.
And this is my first time, I promise you guys this will not be my last Danzation I will be performing after graduating from here.
Cause I really miss you guys, you guys make me realise more love and friendship.
Initially I thought of only dance in my first few days in this club,
but I met wonderful people, thankfully.

And I'm grateful for this opportunity.
I will never forget this experience, thanks NRA.
Thanks Ann!
Thanks Farid!
Thanks everyone who have been grooming us for the past five months.
You guys are dope,and definitely doper on the next Danzation.

I LOVE NRA. =)

2008-12-18T11:56:00.001+08:00

The day is just tomorrow.
Are all of us ready yet?

There is no holding back,
everyone will be watching.

Show them what Freshies 08 have! Get them.
Do you know what time it is?

=)

2008-12-16T12:09:00.002+08:00

And I swear, Danzation 2008 is gonna be one hell of a show.
Something everyone will talk about.
Because it is not about the dance moves, choreography,
Or who is on stage.
It is all about us.
Breaking boundaries.

After looking at the segments few times I have to make that statement above,
seriously if you all could just come down and watch, you guys won't regret it.
Be it moves, the whole show or just the videos alone,it is more to bring the house down.
I mean it.

So what are all of you waiting for?

=))))

Sorry Clement for knocking your spects out during the full-run rehearsal,
I'm sure the spects are not damaged that badly.

Everybody it's showtime! :)

2008-12-14T23:17:00.002+08:00

I know everyone is plain tired.
Purely worn out.
Be it internal showcase,external showcase,logistics,or any roles in danzation.
Everyone is just physically drained.
I believed not most are mentally drained?

Cause we are all so excited.
And excited to give our best,for every minute and second on stage.
Nobody wants to pull their item down,
Let bascially almost everyone,who have been dedicating most of their time to this moment.
Danzation 2008.
Once it is over it won't rewind again.

And it is all about breaking boundaries.
We are one of the very last to perform for our own for the end of 2008.

I think we need more energy,more encouragements to keep going on.
And I think bascially our essential is support.

All the best everyone!
Everyone looks different,having intensive and scary energy and emotions in our items.
So much that it blows our guests away.
So much that it even blows each and one of us away.
So why can't we blow the crowd too?

I believe all of us have the potential to do it.
And I believe after Danzation 2008,
the expectations of NRA will go up,
like what Ann said, that will be a breakthrough in the dance industry of Singapore.

And I strongly feel that each and one of us will become stronger,
be it teamwork or individuality we are still the stronger ones.

HAHA okay I think I talked too much.
Feeling tired right now, but I'm not thinking of tiredness.
Okay I don't know what I mean but, physical drained but not mentally.

Five more days to the most awesome day of my dancelife,
And I know I can't let my friends down.
Let Justis down.
Let Farid down.
Let anyone who taught me for the past few months since I stepped back into dance down.

Danzation 2008 here I come,we will blow you away!

P.S: Friday's performance still available! Limited places so get your tickets!
Tag me or nudge me on msn for details.

Rest well my friends.
The show needs us. =)

2008-12-11T16:03:00.006+08:00

Had MEM test today,well I think I can't do well.

For the headache yesterday.

That I could not even have the mind to study,

even now the back of my head still hurts.

Sigh.

Although I did study.

Yesterday's the last day of Popping II lesson,

Damn I'm so gonna miss it.

Gonna miss chatting sessions with Psyk and my popping mates.

Gonna miss how he made his lessons interesting and fun for us to learn.

Gonna miss his advices in popping for us.

Gonna miss how he corrected my moves and guided me along the way.

Till next month's open class, yeah.

I'm so gonna miss him. =((((

Got my orders yesterday!

And I so damn love my madness tee and leopard tee,for real.

Gonna order more next month,damn.

Calista got twisted glasses as present!

And I only got two packs of SD tissues and two stickers.

Envy. =(

Okay two more papers to go.

And it will be more dancing and the performance of my life.

Here is my next month order list,okay that's too early HAHA.

-Denim shorts

-Jeans

-belt

-stadium jumper

-camo parka

-caps

-accessories

-shirts and polo tees

Hope I saved enough money for this!

Not forgetting my license. =(((

Way too overdue. My sweet production =)

I wonder who has the cheek to dump all these unwanted stuff here at the lift lobby.

SD arrivals! =))))

Officially completed Popping Course =)))

My teacher,my friend,my buddy. I remembered before I started learning popping from you, I checked your video out at the O school website and I was like damn, his shit is hot. I will love to bot and pop like that guy on that video one day, or probably as good as him. That's my goal. And you are that standard bar I will wanna achieve one day. Anyway all the best for everything! Who knows few years down the road, I was popping probably as good as you, and you were probably dancing like Dominque in WCO, Singapore's WCO? Thanks for everything and bringing the passion and love to me,keep dancing! =)

2008-12-11T14:28:00.000+08:00

I'm craving for Popeyes.

LOL.

2008-12-09T23:12:00.000+08:00

How many times have you been pushed around?
Was anybody there?
Does anybody care?
How many times have your friends let you down?
Was anybody there?
Did anybody stare?

How many time have your friends let you down?
Just open up your heart
Just open up your mind
How many times has your faith slipped away?
Well, is anybody safe?
Does anybody pray?

Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we're alive
Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we'll survive

How many days have you just slept away?
Is everybody high?
Is everyone afraid?
How many times have you wished you were strong?
Have they ever seen your heart?
Have they ever seen your pain?

Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we're alive
Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we'll survive

She gets high
She gets lost
She gets drowned by the cost
Twice a day, every week, and all her life
She gets high
She gets lost
She gets drowned by the cost
Twice a day, every week, and all her life
Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we're alive
Oh, Life is waiting for you
So messed up, but we'll survive
All messed up, but we'll survive

2008-12-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

O School Recital is DOPE =)))))))

2008-12-07T21:46:00.002+08:00

Today's practice is great,despite my condition today.
Turned up for opening item, and I did not regret.
Learned some new steps,although it is the first and last session.
Able to get the grasp despite being new to me. =))

Looking forward to recital tomorrow, if only I went for audition this year.
Well maybe next year, anyway the end of next year no productions I guess.
Jiayou Fenyi! =))))))

And happy birthday Calista.
May your wishes come true. :)

My SD orders arrived!
Can't wait till wed when I collected them from Ben=))))

Gonna order more next month,but maybe got to control because at the same time I going to register for my taking of my license tests.

All the best for NRA peeps taking CT!
After CT we are gonna dance like we are gonna tear the house down.

:))))

2008-12-07T10:39:00.002+08:00

Honestly,I feel like shit.
But nobody is there after all.
To tell me to get well soon.

I wonder who my true friends really are.
Who will pull me up when I fall.
Who will support me till the end.
Who will tell me what is right and what is wrong.
Who will give advice on things that I need.

I wish I could just vanish from earth right now.
Seriously.
And people nowadays are really selfish.
Look at what is happening around the world now.

2008-12-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

Lying in your arms
So close together
Didnt know just what I had
Now I toss and turn

Cause Im without you
How Im missing you so bad

Where was my head?
Where was my heart?
Now I cry alone in the dark

I lay awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy

Wanting you the way that I do
I was such a fool
I couldnt see it
Just how good you were to me

You confessed your love
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free
And now Im left
With all this pain
I only got myself to blame

Why didnt I know(how much I loved you baby)
Why couldnt show it(if I had only told you)
When I had the chance
Oh I had the chance

(interlude)

(chorus)

2008-12-06T16:33:00.003+08:00

Guys better take care of your health while you can,
especially CT and Danzation coming soon.
Felt shit sick for a week,
when will I get well?

I'm sick of all these.
Coughing out green phelgm.
Keep on using tissues for my stupid nose,
Cannot even eat cold stuff or anything to do with chicken or fried stuff,
I want to get well again!

Sigh.
If only you were here, comforting me.
Accompanying me to the doctor's whenever I'm sick,
Buying congee for me.

I really regretted.
Why have I been so foolish?
If only...

2008-12-02T17:46:00.002+08:00

This is insane.
I am sick with flu and blocked nose, now my brother is sick with fever.
Like, I don't know how to explain.
And my bowels are liquid, sorry to bring that up.
I'm a walking virus.

Everyone around is falling sick,
Shit.

2008-11-30T22:53:00.003+08:00

Just received Justis message:
Looking forward to watching you all on stage. Peace dude.

If it hadn't for him maybe I would not continued the love for dancing I had four years ago.
It was a long story why I stopped last time.

I always remembered what he said.
Stay humble, keep improving.
Thanks Justis so freakingly much.
His 'Falling Out' is so dope,
Learned his choreo but still can't catch much,
cause I didn't turn up for last week's lesson.
At least I got the energy to turn up at night.
Lyrical hip hop really brought up my feel, especially when he choreographed it.
DOPE! =)

There is no such thing as the best dancers in the world,like what Ben aka PSYK told me.
Even people like Wrecking Crew Orchestra, Elite Force Crew,
who were already as good as gods (in my opinion they are),
they can still become doper.

So there is always room for improvement.
Don't stay satisfied when you think you are good enough, go for more.

Okay back to myself,you guys probably heard enough.
Guess what?
I'm getting sick and more sick.
Don't ask me why.
I missed training yesterday, now today.
Damn it.
And I was so sick that I didn't even have the energy to walk to the clinic.
I was bounded to the bed, and like hell it sucked.
You guys better take care of your health, don't risk it for the sake of Danzation.
I hope I don't collapse on one of these days.

I may sound crazy, hope it won't happen.
And low blood makes it worse for me.
My body is feeling 'flu-ish' =(((

2008-11-30T19:15:00.003+08:00

I'm sick and tired of all these crap.
People acting they know when they don't know,
People don't wanna get serious when time is running thin.
People still can forget their steps in their item.
They don't know what is the level like when they are entering into one of their probably biggest performance in their lives.

Where is the commitment?
What have you all been doing during the past one or two months when Farid is teaching the choreo?
And when we are cleaning steps?
Some of you all turned up irregularly for training,
Playing a fool when Farid or Ben is cleaning or changing steps.
This is seriously a disappointment,
People have held so much expectations and weight on our backs.
I rather the people who wants to withdraw better quit now,
I don't want people to have a bad impression on NRA.
Which will end up cropping a bad image on the next batch of freshies,
I will definitely feel sorry for them.

Sorry if I sound crude,but we really are running out of time.
Juniors and above are more or less done with their items,
and what about us?
Still forgetting formations,
still forgetting steps.

Don't mind me, I really can't take this anymore.
When people start crossing the line.

2008-11-29T00:03:00.003+08:00

Sessioning is fun and dope!
Many bboys there and I saw Ann with her students practising some steps.
Probably it is for O School Recital.
The steps are nice, One Wish!
Can't wait to watch :)

Was recalling what Sophan had said,
I guess everyone doesn't want to look messy on stage.
Especially when you called your friends to pay fifteen dollars to watch you perform,
and you are giving them crap?
I mean just look inside your conscience,definitely you don't want it to happen.
If not I really feel sorry for your friends.

Less than two weeks to full run,

less than three weeks to Danzation.
Time is running short so let's give out our best okay?
Stop letting Farid and Sophan,or any seniors' comments and advice fall on deaf ears,
I have confidence everyone can do it.
Go Freshies!
And thanks Zhi Zhong for correcting my locking :)

I wished I could throw these thoughts out of the window.

Jiayou Sabrina and everyone who are taking part in O school recital.

And to everyone in the FB Production too =)))

2008-11-27T23:42:00.004+08:00

So many things in December.
Exams,productions,performances.
I need to make it work!

8th December - O School Recital
12th December - Foreignbodies Production
19th, 20th December - Danzation NRA 2008

Tomorrow going for session with ah boy,daniel and all after training.
Can't wait! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIMIN.
and to Steph aka Mianbao =)))))))
So many people birthdays' falling in november!
Shit I broke liao LOL.

2008-11-25T12:25:00.001+08:00

Getting sick and more sick each day,
Stupid weather and air.
I wanna get well soon!

2008-11-23T19:48:00.005+08:00

Back from cruise and training for Opening Item.

Seems exciting, and the formations are interesting.
I had to move around and it was pretty tiring,
probably due to the fact I had only four hours of sleep
If I had went for freshie item who knows what might happen to me.

Okay, speaking about cruise.

I felt like going again, I have to confess.

Milton, Reuben, Shaun, Aloysius came.

The arcade is still as boring as usual,only a few additions of new games.

And three dollars for one game of Initial D Ver 4?

Who will play man.

Damn.

Played Janga and dai di with Shaun and all at the second night,

Wanna go to watch Yoga Lin but didn't cause we didn't find Reuben at all.

Sang karaoke and it has been ages since I last sang.

The stuff was good, despite exceeding our singing time by twenty minutes still she never disturbed her.
I would have tipped her if I had the money.

Like seriously.

Went to disco and danced the night away after that.
A group of Vietnamese peope were dancing too,
And I joined in.
Danced alone at first, then some ladies approached me and we danced.

Putting our hands around each other waists and necks and swayed to the music,

this feeling is gonna stay in my head for a very very long time.

And I took turns dancing with three ladies.

It is the first time I felt so good like that.

The people were really damn drunk,seriously.

Taking over eleven shots of vodka, there ain't no way those people could be sober.

After some time went back to cabin and slept.

I wanna stay in the cruise LOL.

And mum is leaving for Osaka this Tuesday!

Why can't she go during my holidays?

Shit =((((

My cabin for the trip.

Happy birthday Dad :)

Jackass.

Dad and us =)

Mum and us =)

I LOVE you MUM :)

FOOD..

Sometimes I have a sense of inferiority among you all, and I felt that I don't belong.

I hope I am wrong.

2008-11-21T10:31:00.002+08:00

Will be away from today till Sunday,probably updating when i'm back.
Happy birthday Dad.
May your health get better and things going your way.
And earn more and more money,richer and richer!
=)

2008-11-20T22:40:00.003+08:00

Suddenly I feel like the world is drifting away from me.
A part of me is drained,slowly drained to emptiness.
And I'm still telling myself to keep holding on.

I have to do lab report on MEPCAD.
I have to think of where I wanna go on my third year.
Attachment or FYP?

Went for popping class yesterday,Ah Boy and Samantha asked me if all of us could gather and train popping together.
That idea sounds cool!
At last people to practice popping with.
=)

Somehow or what, I feel that some people are not really bothering about me.
I'm sick and tired of taking the initiative,
You all need me when you are down,
But were you guys there?

I doubt so.
Always,I have to make it alone.
Always,I have to find my way.

The world seems moving but deathly to me.
I feel like letting myself go,
and drop six feet dead into the earth.

2008-11-18T15:08:00.002+08:00

Back from school,last day of report writing.

Next week there will be no IS, yay.

But the week after will be speaking with impact.

LOL.

Heard that it is very stupid.

Just back from lunch at mac,

I think I got back my appetite LOL,but I have to stop myself from skipping meals!

My flu still not gone yet, and I still have occasional headaches.

Sigh.

Looking back,somewhat coming to a year has passed.

I compared my life with last year,and somehow it is very different.

I had my first performance this year.

I learned many dance styles this year.

My isolations improved this year.

As each year pass by at least everyone have something good huh?

Dad's birthday is coming this Friday,I decided to take time off from dance training,something that I will never do, unless it is for my family.

To celebrate his birthday on cruise.

Came out with fifty bucks for his birthday cake,as I don't know what to buy for him.

Hopefully he will like it :)

Saw a programme last night, one of my most watched shows.

It is about how this family living with the mother being paralyzed on the bed, and the dad sets up a roadside stall to sell newspaper as a living.

And this whole family survives their life throughout.

I felt sorry for the family, the daughter even have to help clear out her mother's waste.

Their house is a total wreck!

The production crew and volunteers helped cleaned the house and even bought new furniture,

and there is a part when 30 cans of canned food being stolen from the kitchen.

They are all donated by people, how can these people dare to steal from the family?

Shame on you, may misfortune befall on you!

Okay I may sound crude, but put yourself in their shoes.

How ugly can the world be?

Had a long chat with my mum, something that I have not done for quite some time.

Since dance took most of my time.

Since Danzation took my time too.

Heard that my dad is having a low pulse,

the doctor said if his pulse falls below 50 he is better hospitalized.

Sigh,as if high blood pressure is not enough.

Dear god,

I want more time with my family please.

Don't ever break it apart, I don't mind suffering on their behalf.

Be it physically or mentally, I am willing to take it.

So long no harm happens to them.

Even if it means shortening my life.

I missed dinner time with my family.

I missed long chats with my family.

I missed outings with my family.

And last but not least, I LOVE you mum and dad.

I have to admit,Mum you are the most beautiful woman ever to be my mother,

Even a lifetime is never enough.

Okay I may sound mushy or what,

but I meant the truth.

I love you all =)

2008-11-16T18:52:00.006+08:00

Never have I felt so dead before.
Tiredness and pain biting my body all over, it felt good.

Went to FTL yesterday, saw Ben and some familiar faces there.
The show started with some LCL showcase and judges showcases,

Indeed,many dancers across the regions really levelled up.
Exponentially.
However I recorded some videos except the locking final.
My battery died :((((((((((((((

Anan and hei won Ben and his partner who substituted David,

after all Anan and hei deserved the win :)
This is the hip hop side.

The popping side had not been quite exciting as expected,
but many participants pulled tricks and crazy shit to prove themselves.
Ben lost in the semis,
and Strobing Machine won the finals.

Locking is definitely not to be missed!
Sunset Alleycats vs So Funky.
Singapore vs Taiwan.
What an epic battle!
Chunky was inside Sunset Alleycats in this competition,
with Fong.
There is a rematch cause of a draw,
And out of randomness, Chunky told a small boy who was sitting at the front playing psp not to play,
cause there are people dancing and may kick onto him.
Then the boy cried.
Locking Chris was like saying 'Chunky,what have you done this time?'
And everyone were like laughing -.-
But in the end So Funky won.

Bboy was okay,I have seen many awesome footwork leaving me all stunned.
The finals had like three rematches?
Cause Bboy Mahmud liked wanted more from the contestants.
Well these are the expectations of a UK Bboy Champs Singapore winner and Floor The Love 2007 champion.
Bboy Oneski won,nice musciality.

Fortunately I wasn't late for Justis class.
After eating my late dinner went home and I just slept.
Never felt so tired before.

Today had formation for Opening Item.
Once again I'm standing at the back. -.-
Can't wait for practice this week,
although I will be away from Singapore from Friday to Sunday.
Hopefully Sunday's training won't change to the morning,
for I will reach Singapore at about 11am.
I love back to back practices everyday. :)
Time is running out everyone,
Show the audience what the whole of NRA got! =)))

Shit my headache is still not gone yet.
From morning till now. :((((((
I felt so weak and useless, always sick sick sick.
What the hell is wrong with me?

They do not have tickets for identification,so this is the source to keep track the people who paid.

Opening round of the Hip hop side.

Bboy Listen and Bboy Oneski started their toprock, wondering who will start first.

Bboy Listen trying to prove how badly he wanted to win FTL this year.

Winning team of FTL 2008 locking category.